it's halloween.
there have been an assortment of events that have led me to this point. an evening alone, with nothing but my thoughts and wub. sifting through paper and stories and drawings. stealing inspiration. trying to remember how i used to let it all out. reading words written by other people but so familar they might as well be mine.
i picked the wrong distraction. detoured from my path of self discovery, again. i used to draw. i used to write. i used to put it all down so that i could remember. there's so much to it all that it is too easy to forget. memories fade and i wonder about the person i used to be. how was i so confident? why have i not figured out that keeping it all walled in doesn't make anything hurt any less?
too long i have let shame rule me.
rediscover a version of me that knew how to create and update her. change changer, change. find a balance. so jaded but never letting go of the innocence, the wonder.
let go instead of the bitterness, the doubt and anger.
and for the love of everything sacred in the world, never, ever stop hoping. hope for more. hope for your dreams. hope with all of your heart because it's all you have.
looking forward to the future. i am excited to get there. the possibilities are increasing with every change that is still unfolding. knock it all down again to build it back up. change changer, change.
surround myself with people that will love and support me and who will let me love and support them. stop wasting time with takers. explore. create. love. learn. god i can't wait...it's happening and i am so happy that this version of me will be dead by 28.
it's mutha fcking doodle time.
happy halloween.
