Havoc's Care Package Wish List

if you would like to send me stuff i would love to get stuff from you. not things either. i would love a simple letter from you or a doodle or a picture. <3
if you want to get me nom noms that'd be great too.

The List:
raw almonds
marshmallow apples (trader joe's)
stop and shop brand southwestern salsa-medium
multi-grain scoops
(i'm looking for healthy snacks that will keep well...)
microwave popcorn (plain if they have it!)
burned cd's and dvds with awesome musics and movies (or a thumbdrive if you have one. i can send it back!)
love notes
delicious coffee

fancy body lotions!!!
i need to stay soft! and youthful!


SPC Barnes, Brooke
1/126 Aviation Task Force Liberty
APO-AE 09330

just a tourist

i got to go down to kuwait city yesterday. we schedule medical consults through civilian providers for services we don't do here or at the larger base nearby. after stopping by the starbucks, where there were several western looking people and where the third country nationals speak english, we dropped of our patient at the dentist office. there isn't really a city i've been to that i could compare kuwait city with. there are still old bombed out buildings from the first gulf war that are fenced off and being torn down. patches of these ruins are hidden among towering hotels and new apartment buildings. the city is as clean as a desert city can be with the garbage and rubble that litters the ground kept to back alleys and small one way streets.

we took a drive down the strip that runs along the persian gulf. the number of outrageously expensive cars is mind-blowing. if you are a kuwait citizen you get paid a stipend just for being born here. once a year you have to go out in the desert to live like your forefathers and set up a tent. maybe bring your horse, atv and of course your servants. kuwaiti citizens are loaded. 50 kuwaiti dollars is about 180 us dollars. none of the people that work in kuwait are kuwaitis. usually Pakistanis, Philippians and Indians. the kuwaitis instead drive around in range rovers, Ferraris, corvettes, Porsches and cameros.

we went to the mall. they have everything from american eagle to burger king. baskin and robins is thriving over here, which makes me insanely happy. rainbow sherbet everyday!!!

we ate lunch at the food court. i got chicken curry. it was good but i was still disappointed. i am craving some providence indian like woah.

i am hoping once the unit we are replacing leaves i will have a more standard schedule. right now we are going places and doing things so they can show us how it's done. i just want to sit in my office and do homework, which i have been doing all day today.

then i can incorporate a good workout routine. i haven't worked out since i've been here but i have been walking every day. i don't even know how many miles i cover per day but we walk to the chow hall, the barracks, the px, the flight line, the laundry trailer. i know i said i'd expand but i need to focus on school work and i have to do a bit of research for my post about how awesome walking is.

i'm waiting for the other girls that are buying skates to order their stuff. i'm going to get a new helmet so i can use it when i buy a bike to ride around on post. then i can email Dee and have her put it all in one box to try and keep the shipping costs low.

like i said, life is pretty simple  here and i'm just passing the time with school and working out. there is a movie theatre in one of the tents near the px, so maybe i'll have to go see what's playing.

i have found that netflix doesn't work over here and even if it did, the internet speed is probably too slow to stream anything. i want to download music too...grumble...grumble...grumble.

i guess send me cds with musics and burn me some dvds!

back to homework. i'm almost done!

the ease of army life

i want to get out of the army. i do...(there's a plethora of reasons why.)

but being on a deployment, even our two weeks of annual training sometimes, make me doubt myself. life is so much simpler when you don't have to worry about anything. giving up control of everything makes it all so easy. i have some things to worry about. sure, there are things like making my storage unit payments but really, it's just too easy.

you wake up. you go to a chow hall. you go to work. you do what you need to get done. you go home.

obviously that can be similar to a life not with the military but there are no other options. nothing else to pull you away from time to yourself, or school or the gym. your options are so limited it makes choosing a breeze.

one of these things is not like the other.

i could see myself staying in. i would put in my packet to become an officer for sure though. i may could even change states. i could join the reserves instead of the guard and go on active duty orders for the next however many years and teach the BCT3 training that i went to in Colorado. They don't just teach it there. the teams are stationed in San Antonio but travel every two weeks all over the world. i do like the world of medicine. i think the body is a fantastic, fascinating machine. really, it's just my bedside manner that needs work because over all i don't really like dealing with people...but...

i could see myself doing this and it's that choice that stresses me out. the army has become my safety net of sorts. i can always go on another deployment. i probably know someone that can get me a job, even if it's only for six months. i have a monthly paycheck, no much but it does supplement what you have.

i have a year or so to make a decision. i can always join back up. i don't know if this is someone i want to continue to be. i have so many other things i want to do and the army is limiting my opportunity to do them.

Brooke, SPC Barnes, Havoc...i'm not sure that they can all coexist. uggghhhhh...................

i'm sitting in my office now (yes, we have a little itty bitty medic office. but i have my own desk!) listening to the helicopters on the flight line. we went to another base today that we take our pilots to have flight physicals done. it was pretty neat. i am still here at 6:30 at night, doing homework because i know if i go back to the tent i'm going to shower and be asleep by 7:30. we are still in transition with the unit we are replacing. the medics that are showing us everything are pretty cool.

decisions, decisions. i have time and it really is the only thing i have to worry about. this year is the year for bravery though and i'm pretty sure i'm ready to let go and start a life that i love. let go of the way things have been and embrace whatever will be.

back to homework... 

and from my most favorite of books:

be brave fitz.

SCIENCE!!! and the arts and everything else.

i have neglected my scientific pursuits for too long. i remember when i came back from iraq and was finally back in school, using my brain academically for the first time in years. i was taking courses that came naturally. english, history, major british writers, philosophy, psychology. i took it upon myself, with the help of the future skulls (a small group of friends from michigan...or more like just me and my best friend, elise) to delve into subjects that i found to be mind-blowing.

quantum physics is by far the most confusing and intriguing and challenging subject that i have tried to tackle on my own. it all started with the double slit experiment.

i think my quest for understanding existential questions led to my somewhat philosophical interest in science. if we can understand what we're made of and how particles behave, maybe we can understand where we came from and where we are headed. our perception of this reality is constantly under scrutiny as is the concept of time.

(Cosmic Banditos )

i have started reading about it all over again. the eurpoean organization for nuclear research have been testing experimenting with neutrinos, a type of particle and found that they were traveling 17-millionth of a second faster than the speed of light! if they can really do that then Einstein's relativity theory could break down and time could flow in reverse! and effect could precede its cause! ahhhhhh!!! it could be happening right now!
they are trying to explain this away. to keep intact everything we think we know about the universe. it seems that the more we try to understand the building blocks of the universe, the more chaotic it behaves.

oh, chaos.

biology is amazing! evolution, dna, stem cells, holy shit! the mind-body connection is quickly becoming something i want to learn more about. everyone knows yoga can be good for you, but why?
i read an article about brain education in germany. the have a 90 min class where they focus on a combination of breathing, and relaxation techniques, yoga, stretching, tai chi, visualization and meditation. brain education has been proven to be effective in bringing noticeable improvement in children's learning ability and handling of stress-plus increased confidence and feelings of fellowship. how awesome is that.

another idea i have discussed but have yet to look into is that widespread cases of depression, anxiety, add/adhd, etc. that has crippled modern man. our dependence on technology and how quickly we have stopped using our bodies has created a psychological and physiological imbalance. we have evolved mentally  more quickly than our bodies can. our lack of movement, as in walking for hours per day after food sources or harvesting in fields and fresh air, causes us to not produce sufficient amounts of chemicals necessary to regulate our emotions and overall mental and physical health.
i had a book about this once and cannot for the life of me remember the title...

there is so much to learn. so much to know. i need to make time for it all!
let me also say i am on a vonnegut kick and how i love that man.
i have to download "On the Fluctuations Between Good and Evil in Simple Tales". it seems to be something i would enjoy as well. i have downloaded a ton of fairy tale and folklore books that they have for free on my kindle. i find the art of story telling to be a dying art and it makes me so sad. i want to explore it, preserve it, understand it. from the beginning of human communication, oral histories were the main method of preserving knowledge and developed an aura of magic about them. something that has been lost and forgotten.

i need to stop for now or i never will!

more research, reading and maybe i'll even take notes so i can retain some of this information. i need to exercise my memory back into shape.

but first! doodle time!!!

time traveling and other adventures

we left texas at 9pm.
we arrived in germany at 1pm, after a 9 hour flight.
then we arrived in kuwait at 1am, after a 5 hour flight.
i feel as baffled as that sounds...

i may live on the moon...

as we were bused in and then released after a blur of briefings, the familiar sights of camp buering started bringing back memories of when we came through in 2007.
walk towards the water tower to go towards the PX. the stage is where there is a green beans coffee, taco bell and baskin and robins is (yes, i already had a double scoop of rainbow sherbet.) the chow halls have changed and i haven't made the walk to the other common area that has KFC, a beauty salon where you can get massages and a starbucks...but believe you me, i will.

we went to breakfast and then walked a little ways, past the gym which offers spin classes, kempo and a variety of other classes. then to the PX to purchase a wireless card! i looooooove having internet so easily accessible again.

it is just now lunch time and i am exhausted. i barley had the energy to shower but successfully cleaned myself and am now seriously considering skipping lunch and taking an afternoon nap.

home sweet home

i have a few ideas to write about soon once my brain is working more better.
like how i am glad i joined the army. i have had experiences like no other. where else can you see a sign warning you about overhead artillery on a road that you travel to and from about once a week.
how freaking excited i am to get back and all my plans!!!
there were some other things but my eyes are fuzzy and i have heartburn.
i think it's nap time.

it is noon here. it is 4 am where you are (and so that means 2am for bella?)
gooooooooodnight.

what is today?

it seems to be the question everyone is asking. the training days are over and now we are starting to pack up and get ready to travel over to kuwait. as i have said on facebook, i am so over texas. i have been here too many times with the military for me to associate this place with positivity and even though the time will drag just as badly in kuwait as it does here, i can't wait to get gone.

ready to go when you are...

the medics, all three of us, have started taking shifts driving around a shuttle van. we transport people from the flight line back to the barracks, to the chow hall, wherever they want to go. it helps make the time pass and we did have a few beautiful days. driving with the windows down, the sun shining and led zeppelin blaring...oh how i love driving. i can't wait for my cross-country adventure!

i am trying to become more strict with my workouts and with my calorie intake. i eat pretty healthy anyways but am going to try to discipline myself so i see results faster and then it will just be maintaining. i am hoping this will make keeping up with it when i come home easier. i love working out. i love the rush of endorphins that i get after pushing my body to its limit. i love feeling the strength i possess and want to sculpt and make my body a derby machine. richie also sent me some links to some awesome speed skating workouts and i have found out that captain awesome (she is a medivac pilot from michigan) used to be a personal trainer. i am going to have her help me work in these strange and scary workouts into my routine.

in these workouts i have been doing the P90X yoga and i love it. i am really hoping they have classes over in kuwait. rumor has it they have spin classes, so why not yoga too?! if not i will for sure continue the P90X one and maybe look into other classes. i have some books to read on it and of course am always looking for articles, advice and personal experience from you all!

aaaaaaaannnnnnnnd!!!! i have my address!

SPC Barnes, Brooke

1/126th AVN Task Force Liberty

APO AE 09330

please do not send booze of any kind or porn (maul...) and only penis shaped cookies if you must (maul...)and even though i am simply havoc to most of you, please make sure you put my military name on the mail so it actually gets to me. not that they won't know who i am within days of me being there...

uhhh...do you know who i am?

we will be leaving for kuwait in about 10 days so let the mailing begin! woooooooooo!

(i have looked and can't find one but if anyone knows where i can get a derby Team USA poster i WAAANNTTT one so bad. really...i do.)

tick. tock. tick. tock

Time is a silly thing. It passes so quickly but sometimes, like now, feels like it takes forever.
We’ve been at fort hood for just over a month and with the way the days blur into one another it feels like the deployment is almost over.

We were given a four day pass for Christmas. I flew home to Detroit, Michigan and had a wonderful visit with my family and friends. Of course my priority was seeing and mushing the living shit out of the wub, which I did as often as I could.

so much to mush!

Claudio mailed me my roller skates and amazingly enough; great skate was open on Christmas! Elise and I went from around 7-10 and skated our little hearts out.
 

so happy after skating!!!

It felt great to be back on wheels but only made the itch for some contact that much worse. The guys in this unit aren't as big, nor do they know me well enough to tolerate the random hip checks and tootsie bops that I used to demand over drills. Boo.

The time in Michigan was too short and soon enough I was back on a plane to Texas. Since then there hasn't been much to do. The aviators are doing their final preparations and flying all the time. I was tasked out to sit on a range that they were flying and shooting and was able to take full advantage of my Christmas present to myself: my kindle fire!

This is the most amazing device ever!!! Now I love books. Real books made of paper and that fill up spaces everywhere in your house. I have a bit of an addiction even and dream of the day that maybe, just maybe I can have an in-home library. (with leather-backed chairs and fire place and a little gentleman's bar. maybe even a bear skin rug!) I have downloaded several books but the best thing is the selection of free classics. From myths and legends from around the world, to children's fairy tales and existentialism.
In the seven days since being back I have read four books. My brain feels fantastic.

fragile things - neil gaiman
american gods - neil gaiman
awol on the appalachian trail - david miller
slaughter house five - kurt vonnegut

I have so many more to go and have to be careful every time I connect to the internet that I don't buy more. Next up is: southbound- a book about two sisters that hiked the Appalachian trail barefoot, from Maine to Georgia. They have a sequel that is about how they turned around and hiked it again.
Robin hobb, one of my favorite fantasy authors also has a new trilogy out pertaining to the world of my favorite of hers. I may take a break from the AT and read that instead.

I would love any book suggestions!!! (and music and other reading material and work out routines and and and!)

I have finally resumed my work out routine as well. Something that proved difficult after coming back from beer and relaxing in a hot tub and going out to eat.
I have my roller skates and am super excited to get to Kuwait so I can see what kind of surface I have to skate on, get the right wheels and get rolling.
We have been told that with the draw down in Iraq that we will only be having a 9 month deployment with no two week leave. There go my Thailand plans. We still won't be back until october-ish but this will let me make arrangements for Thailand for the Yi Peng festival in November.
eastern regionals would be great and I am damn sure going to nationals and the world cup wherever it may be.

We should be getting our mailing address soon for Kuwait and I don't think I will want for anything over there. the PX(post exchange) is the size of a CVS/small walmart and probably has everything I could want and don't need. I would instead love hand-written letters, and pictures of you to keep in a scrapbook. Updates on your pets, lives and maybe a stuffed animal. I have a stuffed wub that I brought with me when I went to Iraq, but you can never have too many...

In the end:
2012, I willingly give you up as a sacrifice, to allow me to springboard into a life that is more on course with what will make me happy. To allow me to travel, better myself and make habits that will let me stay healthy, happy and get what I need.