it's resonating.

i'm trying to listen to howlin wolf.
i can't load the videos quick enough to drown out the sound of a girl in my tent that is having a fight with her significant other. i'm not going to even explain what it is about because it's not about anything. the conversation is just the girl in my tent repeating over and over for the person she's speaking with on skype to shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up and to quick speaking to her like a child and how she doesn't have to sit there and listen to this.

the problem, she is sitting there listening to this, yelling back and has been for the past 20 minuets at least.

i don't know why people, especially it seems younger girls, are addicted to drama. they create it for themselves, putting up with a ton of shit just to keep that silken tether to meaningless conflict. it makes me want to walk over there and shut her laptop and say "there, now you don't have to listen to it."

i have never been a person that has drama in their life.
i would count maybe two episodes in my entire life that would really be classified as drama. the rest of the shit that happens in life just rolls off and i keep going.
i keep to myself and only keep people in my life that don't bring that kind of stink with them.

relationships are messy and deployments do complicate things. i understand that, but this these people aren't arguing about mortgage payments or anything significant!
uggggggggh.

i would like to just say i am so thankful i am single. i am happy with my life right now and where i'm headed. having the complication of another person in that equation would just ruin things.
i have no desire right now for the anxiety it can cause.

right now, i'll just take my friends and family.
friends are different because they're friends and they always will be. <3
and there is no escaping family.

this wasn't meant to be a rant blog but it turned out to be one. i wanted to write about how i'm so excited for leave and how i may have changed my mind, again...
i wanted to write about how music is resonating with me in ways it never has before, especially the guitar and the blues...

ah well...another time.
i went to kuwait city and had a lovely day. it's refreshing to get away and i am already mentally checked out so it was good to get away and not think about everything i have to get done before i leave for two weeks. oh man...

another day, another scarf.

one more day and i'm on my way to wub. <3

single digits

i am only a couple days from a single digit count down for my 2-week leave.
i cannot explain how thankful i am that i #1, decided to take leave and #2, that it is, what i think will be, perfectly timed.

people are getting pissy here. this is not a deployment. this is working abroad, without access to beer and people that you don't, in some capacity, work with. there is no escaping and forgetting and having a "weekend" to distance yourself from them and all their bullshit.
it could be me too. my tolerance could be wearing thin and my ability to let the little shit go is waning.
i broke down and had a cigarette today. that's how fed up i felt...
ugh. i feel terrible. and gross. and did nothing to soothe me. i went rucking this evening and THAT made me feel better. at least now i know.

now let me clarify, of all the personnel here, the medical section is probably the most free. we get to go to AJ on tuesdays for flight physicals, kuwait city for medical consults and even escape for swimming at Ali. some people haven't even been off the base. this base is about six miles by six miles and without access to a change of scenery, people get crazy.

i imagine this is a colony on some distant planet that we were forced to go to and set up sustainment operations. the whole base under some sort of dome to provide atmosphere and we travel to other domes when we fly in the blackhawks.

some people aren't just cut out to be pioneers...in space...

i'm talking more with the oregon guys and am seriously considering flight medic school. we'll see but i'm glad that there are some people that i will be able to have as points of contact for when i transfer.

i'm tired. my feet are sore (i wore my barefoot shoes for the whole ruck!)
someday i'll have a day off.

hunger pains

i woke up at 4 o'clock this morning from actual hunger pains. i thought maybe i was crampy or it was a gas bubble but as tossing and turning and rubbing my stomach didn't alleviate the pain, it must have been HUNGER.
i did an awesome ruck last night around the perimeter. it was the second one since the tendinitis in my foot (i took four days off) and i felt amazing!!! dick and i blazed the almost six miles and holy crap were we pooped after. i was more thirsty than anything when we got back but i still should have forced myself to eat something. a chicken breast, some cereal, anything! i barely ate lunch yesterday as the temperature has been rising and it's averaging about 115 degrees by noon time and the heat kills me. killllllllllllls me.
i am a cold climate creature. the only thing i am thankful for though is there is hardly any humidity.

hunger pains. hrmph.

so i managed to get another hour of sleep. woke up and decided that the pain really was from hunger so i ate a cliff bar. it was also time to start getting dressed to go run the mother's day 5k. i haven't gone for a run in a couple weeks as i started rucking and then hurt my foot. i had gotten up to about 4 miles on the treadmill about five times a week but with all the research, primal blueprint diet, etc. i switched to walking for the weight loss. i guess i need to figure out when to work sprints in to keep up my endurance.

also, this was all after LT Salmon killed the medical section's abs yesterday with a 20 min ab only workout. holy smokes!

working out. working out. working out. so in addition to that we also escaped to another camp about 45 mins away called Ali for short. half of the camp is air force and we have two detatchments that fall under us that operate from there. we were tasked with ensuring their buildings were stocked with first aid supplies and to dispose of any expired stuff. well that took about 20 mins...soooooooooooooo....

this is a "deployment" right?

we went to the pool!!!

it was an amazingly refreshing day. we baked ourselves in the sun, dipped into the pool and baked ourselves again. this was after applying liberal amounts of sun block of course.

we then went to the shawarma resturant (see below) and i got the most delicious fruit smoothie ever.

nom nom nom nom!

all and all it was a pretty faaaaantastic day.

counting the days until i get to see my wub. i'm hoping to keep up with walking and stuff while i'm home, although i don't know what i'll use as a ruck. i'll figure it out.

happy mother's day to all you crazy moms out there.

and to all you moms with animal babies, happy mother's day to you.

i can't wait to mush my baby.

7:30 in the morning and i've already run a 5k, showered, wrote a blog and now i'm going to throw on some shorts and go eat breakfast chow. what a fabulous day!

NCO skillz

that's right. i said skillzzzzzzzzzzz.

so now that i'm a sergeant i have to do counseling statements for the junior enlisted in my section. there's only two of 'em so it was kinda easy but it was still a formality that had to be done, and something i had never done before.
i'm pretty good at writing stuff. (believe it or not!) a little rough around the edges maybe about proper punctuation, grammars, etc. (i really don't like the oxford comma at all but find myself using it still sometimes unconsciously. see above.)
so it took me a little bit but i finally wrote out the counseling statements and forwarded them to the sergeant first class that has been helping me and is administratively next in my chain of command. he reviewed them and i will proudly say, said i did an excellent job. woop!

i feel that the actual counselings went well. it is a weird line to walk between being friends and also being a supervisor/leader but i think i manage pretty well. i also like to lead by example and really strive to set the standard and always behave professionally. (basically i am freaking awesome.)

i'm not sure if it was because the MP's only care about MP's but i was never looked at seriously for my leadership potential. i always felt brushed off and so began to feel like nothing i did mattered so why try. i did have a lot of freedom in that unit and i think that is because a lot of the senior leadership trusted my maturity and knew i had that level of professionalism. for my military career though, aviation has done more for me in the past 6 months than the MP's did in six years and it's pretty amazing.

i know it is deployment and it's not going to be the same when i get home, but right now i'm pretty happy with the army. the guard is something i'm good at and i'm finally being challenged and given responsibilities and respected for the job i do and praised for the results i get.

talking more and more about it i am leaning towards staying in.......

i know, i know. i was dead set on getting out. the whole reason to deploy was to set myself up nice-nice to get out and get on with my "real life".
but thinking about it and all the benefits and the fact that i've basically been full time my whole career has made me seriously consider staying in.
i joined the guard, went through basic and medic school, came home, went right into deployment mode, deployed, came back and had a couple months off. then i started working full-time for the 169th and then got my technician job and now this deployment. (i thrive on deployment though...)
the military has been 90% of my life for my entire career. i'm thinking that if i switch that, if the military is only 10% of my life, one weekend a month and two weeks out of the year, it won't be so bad. i can do crazy things with my hair because i'll only have to put it up within regulation two days a month. i can travel and play derby and FINALLY go to college and get a degree which was the whole reason i joined in the first place!

with the 100% tuition coverage, the health insurance, retirement benefits and slowing deployment tempo i am seriously thinking that it won't be as bad as before. i can focus on my civilian life and use the guard as a tool and take what i have learned and apply it to my life. i have to make this choice by the end of july as there is a pending $10,000 tax free bonus in it for me...hmmmm.

everything else is falling into place though.
i bought my ticket for thailand this week.
bella has hers.
and ace is getting hers next week!

yeah. i'm going there.

about 25 days until i see my wub!!!
a tigers game.
massages!
beer.beer.beer.
dancing.
more beer.
karaoke!!!!
then i come back and only about 3 1/2 months until i'm back for good.
how time flies!!!

wub.wub.wub.wub. <3

derby workout n' more!

so i have been doing some reading and with some help from a few people here that have degrees in stuff, have come up with an awesome routine!

in the morning i do assorted exercises with my stability ball (mostly abs and arms) and with my balance board which is ridiculously fun when you’re trying to have a conversation with someone. We’re going to throw some P90X abs in there too, every other day or so when the conference room isn’t being used.

Then lieutenant salmon wrote me up a derby specific workout!!! She is writing me another one tonight and we’re going to start doing them in the afternoon before we leave work. Today’s workout was three rounds of:

Clock lunges w/20ibs x10 ea
Dynamic step-ups x 15 ea
Front planks @30s x3
Pulsing lunges w/20lbs x 15 ea x3
Calf raises w/20lbs x20
Side planks @30s x3ea

I am still going to try and run a few times a week but I am going to start walking the perimeter of the camp with my medic bag every night.
It’s about six miles around and I will be carrying about a 35-40lb bag. Walk, walk, walky, walk.

Super excited.
And these are all things that you don’t need a gym for which I think is even better.

My barefoot shoes came in and I had to send them back. They were ½ size too small. It made me sad cause I was all ready to try them…
The new pair should be here in about a week or so.

Going to try and do the primal blueprint diet again too. It worked for me last time and I although I won’t be able to do it fully because of all the processed, persevered foods here I am going to try my best.

I also didn’t make it to see The Grey last night. It was thunder storming and I didn’t want to get soaked walking or on my bicycle.
It’s playing tomorrow so I’m going to leave work early so I can make it at 1600.
Woop!

Oh, and I’ll be home in a month, mushin my wub. <3